Lords of the Internet

My most humble of apologies to you, Lords of the Internet. I found a nice little joke which I thought I'd share with people, because just by raising a little smile on someones face, just makes the world a happier place.

So I'm sorry that I failed to realise that you had already seen it. I mean, obviously if you have seen it, surely everyone else has. You are the Lord of the Internet, and if people can't keep up with you, they deserve to be ridiculed. After all, some people in this world don't have the sheer will and dedication to sit at the computer for periods of time, making sure they are up to date with every funny link or video. Those people probably have lives. What good is a life if you can't group email it, right?

And then of course, other people deserve to be ridiculed if what they post is not up to your own personal standards. The very fact that these cretins have wasted 10 seconds of your life which could have been better served staying up to date with every joke on the Internet and go unpunished is an outrage. So I completely understand why you inform them that they have wasted your time. I bet they feel so ashamed that they resign from the Internet completely. After all, you were kind enough to spend even more time to point out their failure. Time which you can never get back. Time which you could have spent reading Dumbledore and Voldemort fanfictions of when they were younger and crossed wands *snigger*

So, my dear Lords of the Internet, I offer you my keyboard. I am not worthy to join your ranks. After all, I have never paid towards the upkeep of the Internet like you, so I do not have the same sense of entitlement that you do. Is the Internet a cold, dark, abusive place? Yes. But does it have to be? Perhaps my years of trying to avoid all the gore, fanfiction, and general 4chan behaviour has warped my view of humanity in some way in which I believe that there is still some way that actual constructive criticism can exist without the need for the sarcastic, demeaning comments. But I see the truth now. The Internet is available to pretty much everyone. Yet not everyone is as good as you.

So please, take my keyboard. Take my keyboard, and go shove it up your fucking arse.